L’Amour Fou, always there

it was 6 months since a word had been spoken. 5 years of mountain top highs and hellish lows. When we were good I knew nothing like it before in my life. When we were bad… I had never felt pain like that before. I was smitten with her with in weeks, perhaps days of meeting her. And I saw in her eyes she felt the same. For years mutual friends had been encouraging us to meet, while making off hand comments of the possible craziness which could ensue.

We sat a kitchen table in Brooklyn for 3 hours, staring at each other and having one of the most natural and effortless conversations I had ever known. It felt right, for lack of a better word. but things were complicated at the time and it was to be 2 more years before my lips met hers. We talked over those two years, she told me everything and I returned in kind. I listened to her every word, and she mine. Those conversations when she was out of state opened the door to my love for her. I wanted to come to her rescuer, hurt her perpetrator, and carry her back to her home. to me.

Our affair began quickly and complicatedly. the details are irrelevant now.  But our feelings were undeniable, unflinching, and unyielding. So began a 5 year love affair. where the current developments will take us I truly don’t know. I have betrayed our trust many times, she has broken my heart multiple times. but if those transgressions could be put in the past… I’m excited for what the future may bring. Love is a son of a bitch.

 

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